Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
by Robin Sparrow
Summary: A short drabble about Jack's love for the Black Pearl, taking place just before the start of Curse of the Black Pearl. One Shot.


Just a short, page-and-a-half look into the heart of the best pirate in the Caribbean - and the world. Please note: this takes place just before _Curse of the Black Pearl_ begins, so Jack doesn't know yet about Will and Elizabeth and all that jazz, savvy? Enjoy... and review, please! Constructive criticism and grammatical/spelling corrections are more than welcome!

**Disclaimer**: You know the drill. I own nothing. On with the show already!

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They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. What they never tell you, however – what no one ever wants to bring up – is how much, and how deeply, it hurts. When someone you love and care for is far away from you, it's like a piece of your heart has been torn away by some dark, unseen hand or force. The minutes are like years, and each lonely night stretches into eternity as you're left to lie awake and wonder. Where are they now? What are they thinking about? Are they safe? Are they well? Are they thinking of you? These are questions that won't be truly answered until the missing half of your heart walks back into your arms – or, on some unfortunate occasions, not at all. 

And you worry. Even if there seems to be no rational reason to, you find yourself afraid that something will happen, no matter how impossible or how ridiculous that seems. You tell yourself over and over that everything's fine, but despite your sound reasoning and good logic, you never quite convince yourself. It's hard, missing someone while they're gone, but at least you know you'll see them again.

Unless, that is, the reason they're missing is because they've been _taken_.

Then, there are no good comebacks to your worries. What if they're hurt? What if they're lost? What if they're…? Some things you don't even want to think about – but they're there anyway, lurking in the back of your mind like a cancer that won't go away, lying dormant but always ready to spring during a weak moment, or when you've let your guard down. But the worst part of all, perhaps, is that you always feel guilty – as if somehow it's all your fault that it happened, as if you are the one putting them in danger. It's hard to forget that you're supposed to protect them, take care of them, save them – and even harder to forgive yourself.

No one knew the truth of this better than Captain Jack Sparrow. There were two things he truly loved in life, two things he couldn't bear to be separated from. One was his freedom – without it, life seemed as pointless as a pen without paper. The other was his beloved ship, the _Black Pearl_, the one thing in life that truly belonged to him. He'd paid for her dearly – oh, so dearly – and he loved her with a deep and true passion which was rarely comprehended by anyone but himself. He knew every knot in the wood, every plank on the deck, every chip in the paint. And, perhaps even more importantly, he _understood_ her like no one else ever had or probably ever would, down to the very last nail holding her together.

And now, after ten long years of separation, it seemed as if he'd lost her forever.

The worst part, as always, was the guilt. He'd never quite forgiven himself for letting her fall into the hands of that monkey-loving bastard Barbossa and his crew of miscreant mutineers, and he doubted he ever would. Looking back on it, he could no longer understand why he had placed so much trust in them in the first place, when it was so damn clear they were liars and thieves. After all, they were pirates – the only thing he should've trusted them to do was to be dishonest. But he had been young, or stupid, or naïve, or all of them together… and he had let his beautiful _Pearl_ down. With just one simple mistake – just a few short moments of confiding in his supposedly trustworthy first mate – he had handed her over to the blackest hearts in the Caribbean. And after ten years of trying, ten years of putting his heart and soul into finding her, he still hadn't been able to save her.

Perhaps it was because of fate; perhaps it was just bad luck. Or maybe he didn't deserve her after all. But whatever the reason, one thing was certain: Jack needed her, and she needed him. They belonged together. A man and his ship are one, and Jack felt the gaping hole in his heart grow just a little bigger every day he lived without her. It hadn't healed or scarred over throughout the years – the wound left by Barbossa's betrayal and the _Black Pearl_'s disappearance was still as fresh as if it all had happened yesterday.

He sighed, watching as the last stars faded before the pale of dawn, and wished for the umpteenth time that he was at the helm of the _Pearl_ instead of stuck on land. Ten years never pass anyone by quickly; for Jack, they had seemed like they would last forever. But he was _Captain_ Jack Sparrow – and he always had a plan.

Over the long years of separation, Jack's love for the ship had grown and grown, until it was all he dreamt of, all he wanted out of life, all he needed to survive. His hopes of finding her was what got him up every morning and what filled his lonely nights. He was determined to find her someday, if it was the last thing he ever did.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. What they never tell you – what no one ever remembers to say – is that it can also make the heart grow stronger. In Jack's case, it was this that made him the very best pirate of the Caribbean. It wasn't the tricks he always had up his sleeve, his boyish charm, his good looks, or even his bizarre, constant optimism. It was the strength and the size of his heart, and his undying love for and determination to find his missing half, his true love… the _Black Pearl_.


End file.
